Just Plain Wierd

Five years ago John Darwin, 52, disappeared while canoeing off the coast of England. The wreck of his canoe was found a week or two later, and he was assumed dead. Yesterday he walked into a police station in London and said he thinks he's a missing person.His two grown sons recognize him as their father, but neither he nor they can offer any explanation for the hiatus. His wife, meanwhile, recently sold the house they had lived in and left so abruptly that the buyers had to empty the place of its content, all of which was still in it. She may be in Panama, but then again, maybe not. No-one seems to know.

If, after all this, you want an example of English stoicism, here's the reaction of John's father, now 90 years old:

Told of his son's sudden reappearance, 90-year-old Ronald Darwin, of Blackhall Colliery, Co Durham, said: "I always thought he would turn up. It didn't seem right," he said. "I said to the police that it might have something to do with his work as a prison officer, I always wondered whether that had something to do with it."