Monday, June 16, 2008

DIBs vs. JAPs

Remember those two acronyms? Damn Israeli Bastards vs. Jewish American Princesses? Well, it seems the underlying cultural differences are still there. This fellow, Marco Greenberg, put it into his head to hire an Israeli au pair. He's far too generous in his assessment ("Well, it was only three out of three, and you can't tell about an entire nation based on three bad examples"); I could have told him that even had he tried 30 times,the chances for success wouldn't have been more than 1:10 at the very best. Partly this is because of the kind of young Israeli women who'd even ever consider taking such a job, but mostly it's a cultural thing. Israelis aren't good at giving service. Not all 7 million of them, of course, but lots of the 7 million of them. True, over time the help-desk sort of places have trained people to respond correctly by phone, but remember that most of those people manning those phones aren't there for a career. They're on their way up, and it's a temporary thing so they manage to control their nature. And even then, they're interacting in Hebrew with other Israelis (DIBs).

One of the insurance company has had a series of advertisements running for a few years already, in which they call other places, get a quote for a service, and then they say "WHAT??!! At [their place] it costs 643 NIS less!!!". and then they record the responses. Employees of the expensive agency caught on the phone saying things like "Really? I'd never buy from us with a gap like that". And all sorts of similar answers. My point being that by now you'd have thought the bosses of the other companies would have cottoned on to the possibility that their staff is being recorded in such cases, and if not lowering their prices, at least they'd have instructed them to shut up. But no. Israelis don't shut up. Can't happen. They're citizens in a democracy, they've got freedom of speech, and they'll use it, come hell or high water.

Come to think of it: what was that Marco fellow even thinking of? Had he found a successful Israeli au pair, would he have wanted her around his kids? Influencing them? Really?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


Dahling, Your labels don't work!

Israel gains recognition for the same reason America owned it during the Revolutionary war. And, then, beyond.

American Revolutions were a rag-tag band. The pros were the Brits. The world got turned on its head when the Americans prevailed. End of story.

This is also true for Israel.

WHile wars, in and of themselves mean little on a diplomatic scale, they do produce a phenomenon: People, far and wide, especially in America, respect a nation that drafts its kids into service. And, these kids can shoot straight.

There's also the two-year planning that went on when Sharon was well. And, it was the 50,000 draftees that made the evacuation of Gaza possible. Without looking like a circus. (Where the circus still lives in the knesset. To be sure.)

DIB. Never heard of it.

JAP. You bet. Herman Wouk wrote the definitive novel, with Marjorie Morningstar. Back in the days when a woman had to be a virgin. Or she could lose the man who asked her. (You mean you didn't know what Wouk wrote?) In the story, he was the writer, a geek, who did not get the girl of his dreams. A JAP, if there ever was one! Also, lacking a college degree. But she lost her virginity in Paris. (And, the doctor who asked for her hand, didn't run away.) Life is like that.


Besides, Grossingers and The Concord went out of business. Yiddish comedians faded. And, hollywood replaced its old stars with limosine liberals, who are not in touch with what the public wants to see.

Oh, I could add how beautiful the Israeli gals look, when they're seen on the beaches at Tel Aviv. You bet. Men drool.

And, since these women, for the most part, are trained to shoot straight, American men don't see JAPS at all. This is a good thing.

Now, in Victor Ostrovsky's first book "BY WAY OF DECEPTION" ... he's asked to define "chutzpah." So he does. My son, when I told him, was shocked.

But the explanation goes like this: First you take a shit in front of someone's front door. And, then you ring their bell and ask them if "they've got some toilet paper."

Now, if you know how the MOSSAD trains; and Victor Ostrovsky has spelled it out. You'd see this description of 'chutzpah' is about the best one I've ever seen.