Monday, April 28, 2008

Bill Gates Needs a Top Manager

[My apologies to those readers who will inevitably miss the heart of this joke, but the truth at its heart is too basic for me to pass]:

Bill Gate announces he needs a new manager for Microsoft Europe, and 5,000 applicants convene at a large hall. Bill thanks them all for coming, and asks for a show of hands of those who can't program in Java. 2,000 hands are raised, and he requests that all of their owners leave the hall, thank you for coming. Morris Cohen, a Tunisian Jew living in Paris says to himself "I don't know anything about this Java language, but what do I stand to gain by leaving? I'll remain seated".

Gates then asks for all those who have never managed a staff of 100 or more to identify themselves and leave, thank you for coming; 2,000 leave. Morris hasn't ever managed such a staff, but asks himself what he might possibly endanger by staying put, decides there's no real danger, and stays.

Bill's next question seeks to know who didn't graduate from a top university with excellent grades. 500 folks head for the exit. Morris left school at 15, "but what could I lose by staying here? Nothing. So I'll stay".

Bill now wants to know who doesn't speak Serbo-Croatian. 498 of the remaining 500 don't, and they leave to join the other 4,500. Morris hasn't left yet; why leave now?

Gates walks over to the two remaining chaps. "Well, fellows, you seem to be the only qualified candidates who also speak Serbo-Croatian. If you don't mind, I'd like to hear the two of you conversing a bit in Serbo-Croatian, alright?"

Without batting an eylash, Morris Cohen turns to the other guy and says "Ma nishtana ha-laeila haze mikol halaeilot?". The second fellow responds: "Shebechol halailot any ochlm hametz umaza, halaila haze kulo matza".


von Oskopia Kaleid said...

Is this talk in an existing language?

Anonymous said...

Oh, I don't understand it, but I think it's hebrew, right?


Anonymous said...

That is just great- and reality.

Yaacov said...

Ok OK. It's a famous snippet from the Haggada of Pessach, written some 800 years ago, a question and an answer. I think it's safe to say that 100% of the Jews lived as Jews these past 800 years know it by heart at age 4 at the latest.

von Oskopia Kaleid said...


I suppose Bill Gates had been the 3rd in the room speaking Serbo-Croatian.

Lydia McGrew said...

I'm now going around telling people this joke. I looked up the correct translation of the Pesach question and answer and just tell the punchline in English while stating that Mr. Cohen actually says it in Hebrew. It isn't as funny as if we could all enjoy the punchline in Hebrew, but it's still pretty darned funny.

Anonymous said...


Oh, this is such a good story! Why? Because Bill Gates was in the room ... and he didn't do any of the things he brought up in his questioning; BECAUSE THEY ALL CAME "AFTER." He left Harvard after his Freshman Year. And, Basic was used in the beginning, to write DOS: Dirty Operating System.

Of course, I'd have also sat there; but I'd have started speaking with an old Myron Cohen joke. In Yiddish. So there.

And, I'll also observe that I found this blog TODAY! On Lucianne. Where one of the members had put up the "gazoo story" of mistakingly identifying how kids in gazoo get killed.

In other words? The BLOGS spread ideas. While journalism is out there, dying.

And, to make matters worse, ahead? Who says the democratic party can't be as insane as the single state of Connecticut's democratic party was when Joe Lieberman got kicked out.

In other words? I now think Hillary runs as an independent. While Obama, like the candidate from the Connecticut democrapic party; opposed Joe Lieberman.

What do votes count, when you have idiology? Well, the nuts LOSE.